Back in the 1980s I often listened to the Czech country singer Wabi Danek and I also enjoyed his songs at campfires or summer camps. One was about unexpectedly finding a nearly forgotten past and it started with the words like – “Yesterday I was cleaning the closet, and when I lifted the dust ball from the bottom, I suddenly found the notebook that I had once searched for in vain…”
I recalled it in the summer when we were cleaning a room that had become a storage space for all sorts of things over the years. There were many unexpected discoveries many forgotten past memories, but not all of them were pleasant. That old song is actually quite nice and has a beautiful melody. But what we found among the stored items in that room wasn’t nice all that. Maybe I’m oversensitive, but it has already happened to me repeatedly during large-scale clean-ups. From many dusty items and cobwebbed corners, bogeymen began to emerge.
In the Harry Potter stories, the “boggart” was very well described. It’s a dark shadow, a dark fear that hides in things that haven’t been touched for a long time. From my experiences with various clean-ups, I’d clarify it a bit – a boggart is a dark fear, shadow, or trauma that we ourselves have put away with those old things. This is exactly what both Katerina and I have repeatedly experienced when we were throwing away such old “treasures”. Boggarts were jumping at us, and in some moments it was really challenging. And above all, we felt that these were not just our personal boggarts, but that other family members and relatives had also put their fears and shadows there.
It may sound strange, but I have the impression that just as shadows and fears can be projected onto someone else, they can also be put away somewhere so that we can pretend we’ve “solved” it. If you don’t believe it, try cleaning up a space where things have been stored for a long time. Old attics or basements are often depots of many old fears and shadows…
Many times I carried out something from that storage room which according to my feelings was literally soaked with old traumas. And when I had to take a moment to catch my breath after throwing that old rubbish away, the questions began to gnaw at me: why are we humans so susceptible to traumas of all kinds? Of course, everyone is different; some can bear more and some less, but I have a feeling that I haven’t met anyone who doesn’t have some unpleasant deep traumas. Why is that? Why are we so weakened internally?
The question intrigued me so much that I decided to undergo a holotropic process to find an answer. A few days later, Katerina and I actually carried out the session, and it was even more demanding than finding those old discarded bogeymen… The process took us right “to the core” – you want an answer, so experience it…
I dived into various old fears, concerns, and traumas, and gradually they became less and less graspable for the mind and increasingly transitioned into something very “fundamental”, somewhere beyond all reason. From other similarly focused sessions, I know that it is necessary to just go through all those shadows, fears, and traumas – it cannot be avoided, it cannot be “analysed”, it can only be experienced – “lived through”. So I went through it and plunged deeper and deeper until I reached a sphere where I “saw” a remarkable parable. And with that, I gradually emerged from the process.
The parable showed me that there is one main fundamental trauma of the human race, which still weakens us greatly today. And that is the realization of separation from the whole, from the Great Consciousness, or if you will – from God. And that is the incomprehensible “original sin”. In the biblical narrative, simply replace the word “sin” with “trauma” and it fits. But please take it as a metaphor…
Adam and Eve were happy in paradise until – until they realized their separation. They ate the fruit from the tree of “knowledge” and learned what? That they are “naked” – meaning weak, separated. The process showed me that it is a bit different for animals. They don’t perceive themselves as sharply defined, separate individuals. They feel a much stronger connection with other members of their species. And in the past, it was probably similar for indigenous peoples. People didn’t experience themselves as individualized as we do today in the modern world.
In the distant past, people probably perceived themselves much more passively, as part of a human community – a tribe or a clan. But later, we entered a phase where we began to place much greater emphasis on individual experiences, individual opinions, and attitudes, which, at the same time, weakened our sense of belonging with other people. But it also weakened our ability to resist traumas. Because, with the development of individuality, we began to realize how small and weak we really are – in other words, how “naked” we are…
And the process also showed me that only when a person began to experience themselves as separate and individualized did death truly begin to exist for them as the fear of non-existence, the fear of the end of their individual existence…
The session also showed me that religion, in principle, tries to remind people of that ancient solidarity but often gradually slips into passive “herd mentality” and uses it to strengthen their power. Apparently, much of esotericism is about something similar – feeling part of something bigger that strengthens and protects me. Indeed, believers and esoterically oriented people often exhibit quite strong resistance to traumas – “such things don’t touch me because I have my faith…” However, if they are disappointed – for example, when the guru turns out to be less virtuous than initially seemed – they go through difficult times because their support and certainties suddenly fall apart…
The biblical legend of the expulsion from paradise actually symbolizes this quite well. Adam and Eve were originally unconscious, did not experience themselves so much as individuals, lived more passively, similar to animals, and had everything they needed… But then they “ate the fruit of the tree of knowledge,” began to feel themselves as separate beings, and realized their nakedness – their separation from the whole, from God, from the Great Consciousness. And at that moment, the “original trauma” was born – the trauma of isolation, separation, and smallness.
In that biblical legend, all you need to do is replace the word “sin” with the word “trauma,” and then it makes sense. This “original inherited trauma” affects us all and takes various forms. Perhaps the biblical legend was originally a therapeutic lesson, but then maybe someone decided to use it for their power, the word trauma disappeared, the story turned into a tool of control, and – strengthened our inner original trauma of separation even more. Who knows, maybe someone did it even with this goal in mind… After all, people are so beautifully obedient when they are full of fears and traumas…
And so we struggle… We try to protect ourselves in any way possible and find shelter, we search for various materialistic certainties, we look for someone with whom we would feel “whole” – and all of this to avoid suffering from separation…
How to get out of this? Going back to passive experience is most likely not possible anymore. And what about the other direction – towards the conscious realization and experience of our belonging to the whole, to the Great Consciousness? Could it be done this way? Could it be done through holotropic breathwork and psychedelic trips? Studies and personal experiences seem to suggest that it could be. Perhaps, in the end, it is an important developmental experience – from passively dwelling in belonging to the whole, through the loss of this connection, to the new active rediscovery of interconnectedness with everything… Maybe then we will be much “stronger” and not succumb so easily to traumas because we will actively, in a new way, experience our belonging to everything and everyone… And the “original inherited trauma” of the human race will be healed…
